User Profile

“The time has come to be true and to let life’s journey bring you to the unknown - your dreams lead the way for recognizing the good and the evil..."

I am 23 and live in Virginia Beach, VA. I have never been a normal guy. I have always stood out. To be honest, there has not been a time I have wanted to be completely normal.
At the age of fourteen I started seeking my dreams. First I wanted to be a translator for my grandma and for all those who spoke Tagalog. Well that dream ended in a year. Then when I was sixteen I wanted to pursue in Computers. Well that dream failed too. Finally after moving form northern Virginia back to southern Virginia and working for a pharmacy for 5 years I decide too become a pharmacist. This road I knew would be rough and long, but I am getting by. I saw so many people leading lives that were not conducive to their achieving my definition of success. My perception of success in life was to know God in the Roman Christian Catholic since and to help heal those who are sick and weak. I thought everyone had to go through the same path. To be blunt, I was a freak of medicine fanatic!
My focus in life has changed. Now I care more about helping people by showing love and giving words of encouragement and trying to help them heal than I do about what good they serve. Religion is not the foundation of your life. Knowing who you are is a stronger foundation that will now shift. Don't buy into an idea because it is what you are taught; do so because it is what you know to be right.
I left my home in San Jose, California at the age of fourteen. I moved to Chesapeake, Virginia then to Ocean Front, Mississippi and then to northern Virginia. After moving to Virginia I struggled through school do to new surroundings and finding out I had a learning disability. During this time I went to 8 different schools all my life. By I did pursue and graduated high school after going to 2 different schools. Knowing, I made it this far I went straight into Northern Virginia Community College in the summer of 2000. Fresh right out of High school I managed to get a job or two. Starting off at Regal Cinemas and ended up as Manager and leaving the business after 2 years I establish a fine job at Target. There I learned and did everything but in 2001 I managed to get into the pharmacy where I am currently at still. But in August 2002 I moved from northern Virginia back to southern Virginia where I attended Tidewater Community College and got transferred to Target in Chesapeake Square Mall. Well it is 2005 now, and i work for Eckerd Drugs. Last year was a trying year for me. I didn’t know the college well here and they were not up to date and also I struggled because we moved to Suffolk then to Chesapeake and now I settled myself in my own townhouse in Virginia Beach. I came to a point that I did not like who I was. To begin, I was judged when I went to high school and college for the way I dressed and talked. I did not like the way I looked. I did not like the way I was thinking or the hatred I felt towards some people. I decided that I was going to begin to deal with issues in my life that had long been hidden. It was time for me to find out who I really was. It was time to "come out".
From the time I was in high school I knew I was attracted to guys. I did not know why. I always thought it was dirty for having "those" thoughts and feelings. I have always wondered what it would be like to actually be attracted to girls in a sexual way, which I was in some point in my life. To be honest, I do still wonder, but I have come to terms with the fact that I never will be. I am bi.
I now love who I am. I realize that every step in life has shaped me to be the person I am today. I have had a full filling life. Aside from a few times in which I have lost direction or focus, I have been successful in every thing I have tried. I am now focused on doing what I pursue as being a pharmacist or a radiologist, or to be the first Filipino-Panamanian in space. One day, I wish to have my own pharmacy and be true and honest to all those around me and to god’s children. I love my work. Plus on my spare time I write poems, short stories and songs. Which one day I can have people singing my songs or getting poetry, short novel publish. Things are going as plan. I have graduated with an associate’s in general science and now pursuing my dreams as the pharmacist and radiolgoist that I want to be, but I will not give up until this dream is fulfilled and a functioning reality.
My hobbies are well, I love collecting baseball cards, comic cards and books. Also I love collecting Scoobydoo and Grover items. I love hanging at the clubs and chilling at my house watching DVDs. Well I like working out and just hanging out and also have a nice quiet day with my significant other. My favorite food is well Filipino and pizza. I love the colors neon orange, lime green and baby sky blue. I love every type of music and every type of shows. I am currently working and going to college as a pharmacy/radiology student. I currently work and I just hangout. Also I have graduated from tidewater community college with an associate degree in general science. Well there is a lot more about me in my writings.
After thinking I was having a heartattack. Which it wasn't, that is a good thing. I lost my breathe for nearly 5 mintues while taking a shower, from here I went to the near by hospital and they found out I had spauntanius pneumothorax(a collapse lung). Here I saw the light; well I thought I was going to die. Well I didn't I am alive and well now; hopefully. Well after this happen I was thinking to myself, my graudian angel was watching over me and gave me a second chance. I am now trying to give to everyone I know and Thank them for everything they have done for me. Without them next time I might be Back. Just read and respond back too me. Thanks.
Never forget how to dream or this world will become dark and lonely for you. Dreams light the path to success. They give you hope when everything seems to be falling apart around you. They mold and shape who you really are.


Also as a reminder to myself of my poems:

You need a friend that will be around don’t let this end before I see you again, what can I say to convince you to change your mind for me. Look in my eyes, what do you see, not just the color look inside of me.

Best friends forever… being there for each other no matter what happens, enduring all the pain each goes through, strong but insincere, together we grow, funny moments we will never forget, recognizing when they are hurt, even if they don’t want to admit it, imperfections, ever lasting talks about god knows what, never giving up, devoted to each other, sharing the best moments of our lives, falling in love with the wrong people, over protective parents, relationship problems, everything going to be alright, very loving, excepting the faults, recognizing the good and bad…

Because I care… I hope you know, how much I appreciate, your being there, when I needed your friendship most, it meant everything to know, that you understood, what I was going through, and that you cared, your love and encouragement, have helped me through, a difficult time, I’ll always be grateful.

Friendship… forever we will be, real to the end, involved in everything we do, ensure each other, never feel pain, doubt we ever end, stuff we have done in the past, she’s hott don’t you think, insecurity will never happen, people are jealous that they, don’t have the type of, friendship that we have, I love you guys.

I’m judged… because of my, appearance, I’m hated, because of my name, I’m shunned, because of my clothes, I’m misled, because I’m to trusting, I’m misunderstood, because no one listens, look at me, talk to me, love me, just stop judging me.

My love… I think about you all the time, about how I want to be held in your arms and stay close to you, I never thought this love could be so true, you take a big place in my heart, I hope nothing ever brings us apart.
~all written by me~ JazC

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